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‘Chicken parm you taste so good’


By Jonathan Raitz
Posted on March 31, 2016 | Columns,Editorials,Opinion | Comments Off on ‘Chicken parm you taste so good’

Choosing a college is hard because they are a lot of factors to consider. Majors, the size of the campus, proximity to home, cost of tuition and several other determinants, but I never really considered the food served on campus.

Now looking back, I realize my decision would have been easier if I had tasted the mouthwatering deliciousness of the World Famous Bean’s chicken parmesan.

Although opinions of The Bean are very widespread. I’m convinced anybody who has eaten chicken parm immediately became  a Bean-liever on the spot. On the outside, chicken parm doesn’t look like much – just a piece of Tyson chicken with cheese and a red sauce I probably wouldn’t eat separately, but when these three things come together, magic happens.

It’s like Justin Bieber’s new album. He paired real issues with above average musical talent, and now he has college students fan-girling (it’s OK men, at least we know our “Purpose” now).

Not only does this chicken-parm-induced magic change opinions about The Bean itself, it helps drown my withdrawals of mom’s home cooking.

Now I know there is this notion that chicken fried steak can hold a candle to chicken parm, but people also think the Golden State Warriors are as good as the ’95-96 Chicago Bulls. I’ll give it to Steph Curry, the dude can flat out shoot, but Michael Jordan beat steroid-injecting, talent-stealing aliens.

Now I’ll be the first to admit there are a lot of problems in this world (yes, I’m looking at you Ron Metta World Panda’s Friend of Peace) but The Bean’s chicken parmesan is not one. So why must we punish it by serving it only once a week, if that? The only thing chicken parm has ever hurt is my workout regime, and let’s be real, it’s not a thing even without a heavy dose of Bean cookies and chicken parm.

In the end, I think we must examine this topic from a “what would Jesus do” perspective? I’d be willing to go out on a limb and say, aside from fish and bread, on his own time Jesus multiplied the heck out of some chicken parmesan.

But even if you don’t find me or Jesus as a credible source, take it from the wise words of Peyton Manning future Super Bowl 50 MVP, “Chicken parm, you taste so good.”

avatar Posted by Jonathan Raitz on Mar 31st, 2016 and filed under Columns, Editorials, Opinion. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.  - This post has been viewed 1284 times.

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