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EDITORIALS


Some suggestions for Perry


By Optimist Editorial Board
Posted on November 7, 2014 | Editorials | Comments Off on Some suggestions for Perry

The gubernatorial race has come to a close, and Greg Abbott is the new governor.

Rick Perry, Texas’ longest serving governor of 14 years, will hang his hat as governor as Abbott moves into office.

For most of us 20-something students, Perry has been our governor since before we could spell gubernatorial. We remember hearing about him running a race against someone named Kinky and we watched him struggle to nail two sentences together in presidential debates. But our favorite memory is from 2010 when he told us about killing a coyote with a single shot from the pistol he was carrying on his morning jog.

Now that Perry’s time in the Governor’s mansion is over, many are wondering what he plans to do with all of his free time. There are rumors circulating that he will make a run for the Oval Office, but we have a few other suggestions of what we think he should consider first.

Go on a hunting trip with Dick Cheney.

Convince Abbot to secede so Perry can run for President of Texas.

Create a shoe brand that is a spin-off of the popular “Sperry’s”. He’d call them “Perry’s” and they’d be very frat.

Write a memoir about being indicted. Fans who come to the book signing get an autographed copy of his mugshot.

Lower the tuition at ACU.

Recharter DT.

Adopt a micropig and name it “W” in honor of George W. Bush.

Make it big on Instagram and get #rickspics trending. Maybe even start tweeting about #ACUCHRISTMASSLAM

Win an Oscar before Leonardo DiCaprio.

Challenge Chris Christie to a hot dog eating contest.

Find a career where his new hipster glasses make sense. Like a barista or a vinyl record salesbum.

Write his own Sing Song music.

OK, so maybe some of these are a little bit out of his area of expertise. But if he really is in the market for a new job, he might have a hard time finding one considering he worked for 14 years in his last one and never got a promotion.

avatar Posted by Optimist Editorial Board on Nov 7th, 2014 and filed under Editorials. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.  - This post has been viewed 8077 times.

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